Addictions - The Things We Don’t Talk About
“Is this another guide or self-help thing about addiction? I’m not going to read this…”
If this is you, well I can’t force you, though I can share that I have new perspectives to offer.
INDEX
Prevention - Things People Say, Alcohol, Smoking, Porn…
Factors - Dopamine, Loneliness, Company…
Resolution - On Meditation, Coping with Stress, Genetic Influence, Role of Parents…
Appendix – Additional Insights and Resources.
1 - INTRODUCTION
“Addiction” is a word we often hear but rarely discuss openly, and it’s easy to dismiss it as someone else’s problem. But the truth is, it’s something that touches all of us in one way or another—whether through our own struggles or the habits of those around us. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle you couldn’t break, whether it’s scrolling endlessly on social media, smoking, gaming, or even battling negative self-thoughts, this article might offer you some new perspectives.
The various kinds and forms of addictions I have observed are as follows, and to whom this article may be relevant for:
Doom-scrolling (endless scrolling on social media like TikTok and Instagram) and Insomnia
Smoking or vaping
Gaming addiction
Alcohol or drugs
Pornography
Overeating or appetite loss
Coffee dependency
Negative self-perceptions
Addictions to people or even the idea of a person (different from how the person actually is)
This article draws on my personal experiences and insights about addiction. Addictions takes on many forms, and while numerous resources exist online, I’ve often found them incomprehensive, conflicting, or disconnected from the diverse perspectives I’ve encountered, especially growing up in my part of the world and observing the needs of newer generations. Through my life experiences and travels, I’ve seen firsthand the extent of addiction's impact, which inspired me to write this article. It shares perspectives I wish I had known during high school and university—critical periods when many addictions begin. Addiction really is a complex topic. Many times it’s not the cause of the problem but a crutch that enables underlying struggles, and yet restrictions may sometimes be necessary. Habits that are harmless in moderation can worsen during crises or stress. While this article may not address every aspect, I hope it provides clarity and support to those facing similar challenges.
One of the most important things to remember when talking about addiction - is to be empathetic and kind. Society often shames and alienates people for the challenges they face, or may consider it to be a “taboo” topic to talk on, but if you really want to help someone or see improvement, this approach does not benefit people in the long run. Protect yourself as needed, but remember that love, grace and support will go far in helping us all, and that we ought to wholeheartedly acknowledge our struggles without shame.
P.S The general tone of this article is as if addressing high-school students.
If you are a parent or older person take this article to be perspectives of newer generations and the challenges they face. If you are still in school take this article to be a general guide on the challenges you may encounter, and knowledge on habits you can prevent early on. And for everyone else, take this as a topic to be discussed and as information that could be shared with others. As we grow we realize just how prevalent the issue is and that maybe we are fine but most definitely we'll come across someone facing an addiction.
By all means feel free to debate with me on anything mentioned.
While I grew up in a mostly sheltered environment, over the years starting from high-school I’d see my good friends engage in and later on lose themselves to destructive habits. It’s scary to see people change so drastically. I’d face my own challenges too, fortunately managing to overcome them. And through other life experiences I’d meet all sorts of people across various positions, yet all facing similar challenges.
Addiction from a broad perspective almost always seem to stem from an attempt to escape stress or pain, or they are a blind pursuit of sensory gratification. For school children their first such stressful experiences are during the exam period. To note though, we occasionally need the mind numbing practices like social media scrolling or gaming, simply to escape a pain from a stressful career or illness that we are recovering from. It is never the long-term solution. Never.
Sometimes we just need a change of environment, or take away these stressors and the habits go away as well. I’d snack on a lot of junk food, but after I began living on my own in university having to look after my food needs entirely by myself I naturally lost the interest for junk food. From the boy who could devour packets upon packets of chips, now I can barely even finish one.
2 - PREVENTION
These are things people say to justify exploring addictive habits. Know it. It’s nothing new. Be wary of it:
“YOLO - You only live once!”
Frankly such a dangerous mindset. Travelling to new places. seeking new job opportunities etc. There yes, to break out of the monotone. YOLO to alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. NAH MAN. Seen too many people do too many stupid things justifying it with YOLO.
“Oh just one more! I can quit anytime.”
This will never stop, except if any external force is there. By self, it needs a conscious decision to stop and the expectation of an abrupt stop that will feel immensely unpleasant, but you must bear through it and you must believe you will be for the better.
"Boohoo you are no fun, you are so boring!"
You are not boring my friend. And for those who have made these comments, rather than dismissing those with strong ideals as 'no fun,' recognize their role as a grounding force. Imagine a spectrum: on one end are those purely driven by desire with no values, and on the other, staunch idealists with strict principles. While the ideal balance lies in the middle, people influenced by moderate voices may only shift slightly. However, the presence of strong idealists helps pull the extremes toward equilibrium. This is why respecting diverse viewpoints, even extreme ones, is important. For instance, while the world may never fully embrace veganism, its existence shifts more people toward conscious dietary choices.
“FOMO - Fear of missing out!”
‘I’m the only one (in the friend group) who hasn’t done it yet!!’ - Get more friends.
“Come on just try it once! Just once won’t hurt.”
Especially for addictions like smoking, it always begins with someone introducing it rather than a personal curiosity driving one towards it. This is something to be wary of. Alcohol is one of the most common practices influenced by social pressure.
While we think we are in control of a certain habit, the habit turns into an addiction when we are under stress or may be coping with a crises, and later on it becomes a dependency. Stressful circumstances are often inevitable in life despite our best efforts to prevent it, as somethings are just out of our control for e.g. an economic recession causing job layoffs. Honestly at those times we wish we didn't have to be in those situations at all. What can we do that is in our control though? Changing our perspective - to not stress over something - to realize what was in our control and what was really out of our control. To expect it, to be able to bare through it, and how to rise from it - that’s the best knowledge we all can acquire.
One must recognize periods of high stress when vulnerability to addiction increases, and plan ahead to manage it. For example, during exams, take conscious steps to reduce stress. During this vulnerable period one may be drawn to potentially addictive habits such as gaming, porn, etc. which may also lose it’s appeal after the stressor goes away, though sometimes it lasts. Managing ourselves through periods of high stress is a life skill to acquire that needs a conscious effort to manage, and to plan well ahead.
Prevention is the best cure. Never forget this.
In life there may always be a curiosity to explore new things, but I really think we need to change our perspective on this and really really remember there’s actually nothing really great to exploring the things with potential long-term health consequences. A lot of habits seem enjoyable only because of the social aspect to it - the thrill from being rebellious, while the actual substance may be plain and bland. Even if you try, never risk your health and know when to stop. It’s just not worth it and there is no shame in admitting this. A heavy smoker may think “oh ok by the time I get married and have kids I’ll reduce smoking,” though the damage is done and while the person may recover their health, the children pay the price in the form of poor health [epigenetics and sperm/egg quality] or there is even trouble for the parents in conceiving a child [infertility]. These issues are on the rise.
I know some people who managed to come to a steady state of moderate abstinence after a long intense period, and the steady state is not too destructive but they always shared with me that they still wish they never had to deal with it, and have intense feelings of guilt and regret. Why do we have experiment around and find out? Instead just acknowledge possible futures. Prevent it early.
ALCOHOL
I went abroad for my education. Before college, I always told people I wasn’t interested in alcohol and wouldn’t be the crazy party type. Many would respond, 'Everyone says that, but once they go, they change.' I’m happy to say I never did. I did try drinks occasionally out of curiosity but never found the appeal and eventually stopped entirely. Over time, I’ve noticed the benefits of avoiding alcohol, especially compared to some peers who drank excessively. Alcohol-related obesity is a real issue, along with weakened immunity, frequent illness, excessive sweating, and, in severe cases, a distinct body odor. Long-term alcohol consumption can impair liver function, affecting metabolism and overall health.
Alcohol was meant to be a celebratory and social drink, though with how it’s become an easily available commodity many drink alone especially to cope with stress. Never overdrink, that liver damage is just not worth it. Never drink by self. Never drink out of stress or anxiety. It's all a feedback loop to addiction.
SMOKING
Smoking is a deep and pervasive topic. While I may not be able to cover everything about it I wished to recount a personal experience on dealing with someone addicted to it.
Believe You Can Make a Change. Understand the Power of Enabling.
When I moved to a new country for a six month internship, limited mobility and rental options left me with no choice but to sublease a room in a house where my roommate smoked shisha indoors almost daily. As a non-smoker, the secondary smoke was unbearable—I struggled with sleep, woke up coughing for hours, and dealt with persistent headaches. The first three months were miserable. I tried to minimize the impact with draft stoppers, charcoal deodorizing bags, and constant reminders for him to switch off the shared ventilation, which he often forgot. Many nights, I was jolted awake by the smell of smoke, forcing me to get up and turn it off myself.
At 20, confronting a 28-year-old in a position of greater control over the living situation was daunting. I had to be tactful. Direct confrontation could have led to aggression, so instead, I remained friendly, casually bringing up concerns whenever the topic arose. As well I stayed true to my values, refusing to accept his habit as normal, and not being swayed to try it myself. Over time, this approach worked—he started cutting back—just a bit, but a start. Before me, no one had ever challenged his habit; those around him simply enabled it. He lived in an environment where excessive consumption was normalized, with no regard for its impact.
Encounters with such people are inevitable, and learning how to handle these situations matters. If you believe change is possible, your influence can make a difference.
PORN
Some addictions, like porn or gaming, may pose relatively smaller health risks but can still be mind-numbing and hinder productivity. The real issue is that they prevent us from focusing on things that could genuinely benefit our life, such as building healthy relationships or striving for a higher quality of life. These addictions becomes problematic when it starts affecting our social life and daily functioning.
Porn addiction is particularly difficult to manage, especially in the internet age where it's so readily accessible. For many adolescent boys, the sex drive is particularly strong, making curiosity hard to resist. While the detrimental effects of excessive porn use can be severe, there is a light at the end of the tunnel where most people recover as they age, and their hormone-driven urges naturally decrease and for some people they naturally recover when being in a mature and committed relationship or marriage. However, if you dream of being confident, skilled, and successful, it’s important to remember that the temporary dopamine rush from masturbation doesn’t lead to long-term clarity or improvement.
During high-school I used to hear a common myth and obsession that masturbation can make one’s penis grow longer—this is false. What truly matters for one’s wellbeing and strength is testosterone, and the best way to naturally increase it is by getting quality sleep, eating well, playing sports, and exercising regularly. Sex education in Indian high-schools is subpar or non-existent. “OMG 2” was an interesting movie shedding light on this issue.
3 - FACTORS
P.S. I can’t say this enough, it's almost always stress mate. Addictions are related to some form of stress or other in a majority of cases.
Stress is the cause. The following are the sparks or mechanisms.
DOPAMINE
A famous experiment in 1954 with rats revealed the powerful role of dopamine in addiction. The rats were given the ability to self-administer electrical stimulation to a brain area which was part of the brain's reward system. The rats pressed the lever obsessively, prioritizing the stimulation over food and water, sometimes to the point of starvation. This discovery demonstrated how the brain's dopamine-driven reward circuits could overpower essential survival behaviors through addictive or compulsive behaviour.
For some of us we may reason “Well (a certain addiction) is clearly bad. Why are they even doing it!!” We do want people to think rationally, though that’s the thing with an addiction- it quite literally shuts off the logical and reasoning part of the brain. If you come across someone dealing with an addiction don't expect a lot of logic or rationality. Consider this in your approach.
LONELINESS
Loneliness is a form of stress too, after all humans are biologically wired to be social creatures. Every single person feels lonely at some point, in one way or another—it is a universal feeling. Don’t worry, this is something you'll figure out, and I want you to wholeheartedly believe that. Till then, spending quality time with loved ones, especially family, can help alleviate this emotional pain. Hugging your parents, helping them, and maintaining a loving relationship creates a supportive environment for both sides. If family dynamics are difficult, try to find other close relationships where you can express love and support. Sometimes, addictions may be there for a phase in our lives, but significant life changes—such as finding a life partner or starting a family— offers one with a new motivation and helps with navigating these challenges.
COMPANY
A lot of habits come from being around someone else who encourages you to try it instead of one having explored it by themself. The people you surround yourself with really really matters. While one may not be actively seeking out “bad company” often it’s related to people who were previously positive, who are now worsening or spiraling down and enabling others in the group in a vicious cycle. If someone encourages you to try something, don’t let yourself be swayed. Sometimes fighting back may be necessary, but important to acknowledge that they face their own struggles.
These kinds of things are very common. You will always come across people like this. Know it though, to see this kind of situation when it happens, to self or to those around us. Set your ideals, and stay strong in your ideals.
4 - RESOLUTION
The first step is to acknowledge. To acknowledge hat we have a challenge with real consequences to overcome and which is impeding us from a better and happier version of ourself. That we may need help and support.
For managing a dependency on dopamine - it’s important to build natural sources of it. Walking, exercise, meditation, etc. help towards this.
Another approach to dealing with addiction (especially if you are interested in STEM) literally study everything there is to it, understanding something better can help you make informed decisions. [1][2]
ON MEDITATION
We all have two minds: the higher mind, which governs intelligence, consciousness, cognizance, and logical reasoning, and the lower mind, which handles bodily functions, but is purely driven by senses and primal instincts. When the higher mind is weaker, the lower mind is more likely to take over in a blind pursuit of sensory gratification, making us prone to addictions. From a scientific perspective, the higher mind is associated with denser gray matter in the brain, which is linked to greater intelligence and reasoning abilities.
Meditation is one of the most effective ways to strengthen the higher mind. No other practice tames the mind more than this, where regular and consistent meditation helps reduce anxiety, fear, anger, and other negative emotions, amongst other benefits. Studies show that meditation can grow gray matter in the brain, enhancing cognitive abilities and emotional regulation (Lazar et al., 2005). Even in addiction support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, meditation is often recommended as a tool for recovery.
There are many forms of meditation; the key is to find what works for you. A practice I personally follow is Mantra Meditation, which is simple to practice and can be done anywhere at any time.* I am happy to share more on this for those who are interested.
*Advancing further with mantra meditation has prescribed practices, place, time, etc.
COPING WITH STRESS
A common form of stress relief today affecting not just younger generations, and is increasingly becoming more easily accessible is doom-scrolling, associated with a vicious cycle of shortening attention span and a constant feeling of being overwhelmed. While scrolling through short videos provides temporary distraction, it does little to address the underlying stress.
Meditation is the best practice, though I do acknowledge that for a lot of us it can initially be very challenging where the practice of trying to get oneself to focus and sit still may only agitate the mind. Though it’s like sweeping a dusty room with a broom—at first, the dust goes all over, but over time, it does settle down and clear up especially when cleaned consistently. The practice of sitting in silence may feel like facing a void. However using sound (mantra chanting) and visualization can ease the process.
In this journey one can always begin with simpler mindfulness practices. Some of these practices are walking, running, yoga, exercise, good posture, maintaining a gratitude journal, pranayama (deep breathing with the diaphragm instead of chest breathing, and alternating nostrils), consistent sleep, drinking enough water in a day, and prayer. One will also feel more energized when spending adequate time in sunlight, in clean air and walking barefoot in grass or nature.
If you already practice meditation or any of these, do it more. Aim to strengthen your practice by being consistent and understanding its purpose and goals.
GENETIC INFLUENCE
Through discussions with friends, some emphasized genetic influences on addiction, suggesting that certain individuals may just be more predisposed and vulnerable to addictions due to their genes or childhood upbringing. Studies in epigenetics support this, showing that trauma and environmental factors can be passed down genetically. However, it is my belief that genetics only influences one's starting point—such as brain structure and reasoning ability—rather than determining their fate. Improvements are always possible. Remember that. And with meditation being a particularly effective practice for growth as previously mentioned.
ROLE OF PARENTS
I have always met two kinds of parents. One kind believing that strict intervention and restriction is necessary, and the other kind acknowledging that kids will learn from their mistakes. In the end a balance between the two is needed. Some lessons are just meant to be learnt by oneself, like overcoming an eating or gaming addiction, and where a parent must intervene is on higher-risk endeavours with long-term consequences and irrevocable damage. Parents who are overly restrictive especially even into adulthood risk distancing themselves from their children with feelings of alienation or resentment.
From the age old advice of Indian Vedic scriptures, a person’s life from the age of 0 to 25 is said to be ideal for growth and learning where one must seek guidance from their elders before moving on to the householder stage. This also correlates with a scientific perspective on how the brain only fully forms in a person’s mid-20s and until then one benefits from being receptive to learning. For a parent, a balance between strictness and friendliness is prescribed, where from 0-5 a child must be shown love and affection, and then from 5-15 the child must be introduced to and made to adhere to discipline, and after 15 a parent must slowly transition to being more like a friend and advisor to the child.
5 - CONCLUSION
I think more people need to engage in dialogue about addictions. Especially the teenage years are a time when many people are the most vulnerable. That’s why I felt compelled to write this article. As well, no topic should be considered TOO TABOO to discuss. Substances like alcohol and drugs have become deeply ingrained in modern culture and society. For example on dating apps and matrimony sites, preferences for drinking and smoking often appear as one of the first filters. Many work cultures also revolve around drinking and smoking, where choosing not to partake can sometimes mean missing out on important social or business opportunities.
While all of this may seem daunting, spirituality offers a simple solution. Over time, you’ll realize how beneficial practices like mantra meditation can be, especially when guided by a teacher who emphasizes acceptance, compassion, and tolerance. Importantly, this path must come from your own choice; as when forced, it lacks love and authenticity.
It's crucial to acknowledge the different types of addictions and their health risks, approaching them with care, empathy, and consideration. Life isn’t black and white; it’s colorful, chaotic, and complex. It can be frustrating because we often seek simple answers, hoping to find a single "ultimate solution." But reality doesn’t work that way. While that can be annoying, it’s vital to adjust our mindset to accommodate these complexities of life. Perhaps though, the ultimate goal is personal growth, which also includes reducing stress. The greatest wealth one can acquire is the knowledge of this reality and the will to continually improve and strive for a better version of oneself.
Live long and prosper my friend.
6 - APPENDIX
[1] KURZGESAGT - Smoking is Fun
[3] CNA Insider - Southeast Asia's Booming Vaping Industry: Should We Be Worried?
[4] BBC World Service - Epigenetics: Can we change our genes?
[5] Lee Kuan Yew Explains Death Penalty For Drug Traffickers In Singapore
[6] The Human Condition - When is the brain fully developed and mature?
[7] The Yoga Institute - Air Pollution | Ways to Cleanse Lungs | Techniques of Breathing
[8]
I’d love to translate this article into other languages. If you are interested in helping me with this please let me know. It could even be as simple as proof-reading an AI translated version.
